Memories and Moments by GrannyJo

OK, kiddies, gather around--it's story time!

When I first came to the WWW, I was unfortunate enough to run into a stalker (and buddies) who caused both me and a friend some anguished years of on-line and 3D woes. That's a long story, which ended with some legal efforts that made the baddies go away--I hope.

Anyway, one night I awoke with the idea for this satirical tale about the people, their personalities and a play on some of the experiences that occurred on various forums during the years between 1998 and 2002. You may even get a hint of some celebrity personalities hidden among the characters! One more GrannyJo memory!

Be aware--profound use of 'tongue-in-cheek' going on here. Oh Yes...Any similarities to persons living, dead, or incarcerated are 'probably' co-incidental! 8-)

Come along with me now, into the fantasy cyber world of ......

THE WIZARD OF OOzE
Copyright
July 23, 2002
CHAPTER 1

Once upon years & years, on the Net farm in a place called Candida, there lived a girl who refused to grow up called Nahomi, and her Rapid (a sort of Scosh Terror) dog, TaTa. Nahomi had no parents and she lived under the sturdy control and love of her Aunty Kadie and Uncle Hashish, Net.

It was tough running the big Net farm all alone, so Aunty Kadie & Uncle Hashish had some hired hands to help out with the chores. They were called Moanen, Pissen, and Groanen--Cliff Moanen, Billy Pissen and Rick Groanen, to be exact. The hands loved Nahomi, and played with her every chance they could get. Still, Nahomi was never a really happy girl. She thought the Net farm was just tooooo lonesome and mundane for a girl who was really a princess.

One day, Nahomi’s Rapid dog, TaTa, attacked a nice old lady while she was riding a bike past the Net farm. The nice old lady, who was having none of it, called the local posse and got a confiscation warrant for TaTa. She put him in a cage and set off to the local pound to get him tested for rabies and ‘fixed’. TaTa wasn’t a Rapid breed for nothing, though. He squeezed between the bars of the cage (he was still a puppy then) and took off to the waiting arms of Nahomi, who just knew that “wicked old witch” was lying. Her TaTa would never try to hurt anyone--he was way too gay and frisky to be mean! Nahomi decided to run away with TaTa, to save him from Old Witch and she quickly took off down the dusty road toward Diamond Barnone with him, where she believed they would be safe forever more.

Soon it was getting hotter and dustier, and TaTa was giving his hungry grrrr. Nahomi could see an RV pulled off the road up ahead, and she could swear she smelled hot dogs and macaroni & cheese wafting toward them. It did so remind her of Aunty Kadie! A few minutes later, Nahomi and TaTa were walking up to the RV and could now see the colorful masks painted all over the side. Welcome to Secrets Revealed floated above the masks. “Now that’s curious, TaTa,” said Nahomi. “Heaven knows, I want to know as many secrets as I can find!”

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than a kindly looking, chubby old man stepped out from around the van. He smiled and asked, “Running away, be you, lassie?”

“How..how did yyyyou kkknow?” Nahomi stammered.

“Ha! Ha! Ha!...There are no secrets kept from Stash the Great! I see, too, that you are hungry, and yer little dog, also. He is a fine Rapid, as far as Rapids go....here, Boy!”, Stash the Great laughed as he tossed TaTa a piping hot wiener from the brazier.

TaTa, who wasn’t too smart about taking hot things in his mouth, caught it in mid-air, gobbled it down and then ran around yapping with his tail between his legs. He finally spotted the crick running nearby and yapped his way over to try to cool his dumb mouth. Meanwhile, Stash scooped a nice hot bowl of macaroni and cheese for Nahomi, set it carefully on his lap, handed her a spoon, and told her to eat up!

Nahomi mumbled through her big mouthfuls, “So, Stash the Great, can we go with you to discover all the Secrets of the Universe? We don’t eat...much. There was just a whole lot that we couldn’t see or do on the Net farm; Aunty Kadie was sooooo strict, and the farm hands were really not too bright. I deserve better.”

“Well, lassie, you be too inexperienced to be travelin’ with a showman like me. Best you be taken’ yerself & yer little pup back to the farm. Thar be a big storm coming over the bracken, and you be better off all cozied up in the fruit cellar of that thar Net farm then out in the whirlwind, that’s fer shure. Thar’ll be time fer secrets sooner than you like, I’ll promise ya that!”

Nahomi could see the truth in the eyes of Stash the Great, so she quickly picked up TaTa, who was too roly poly to run very fast, and scampered back toward the Net farm. The wind swirled dust around them, dark clouds rolled over their heads, and Nahomi could see the lightening flashing up ahead. She ran faster when the dull rumble of thunder came as soon as she had counted to only one thousand and six!

Meanwhile, on the farm, everyone was worried sick about Nahomi. They knew a tornado was coming and the only safe place would be in the fruit cellar under the house. They just had to get in there, but where was Nahomi? Running all around the Net, Moanen, Pissen & Groanen tried to get a handle on her whereabouts, to no avail. Finally they all had to give up and go into lockdown in the cellar.

In just minutes after the others were safe in the fruit cellar, Nahomi staggered into the house, calling, “Aunty Kadie! Uncle Hashish! Where are you? I’m frightened, I need you! Oh, TaTa, where is everybody?!"

Just then the whirlwind hit the little house in the middle of the Net farm. Crash! Bang! The window in Nahomi’s room gave way and she stumbled in her fear and hit her head on the little Wurlitzer radio that sat on the table by her bed. "Oh Candida" blasted on, while Nahomi fell senseless down on her bed. Little Stars & Stripes whirled around & around before her shut-tight eyes. The 'wicked old witch' rode her bike through the whirlwind in the sky, with TaTa yapping out of the cage behind her. An RV with pretty masks all over it and filled with macaroni & cheese chased after the bike rider. Lo, Nahomi could only behold as the little house, reaped off the Net farm by the whirlwind, soared and tumbled up and up.

Nahomi mumbled senselessly, “I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know...”

(To Be Continued)